Punker Chapter 22 : "You’re not listening." I told Beth, who finally looked away from her locker for the first time since I approached.
"What?"
"I was trying to tell you about Ben."
She blinked up at me for a few seconds, like she were trying comprehend my words.
"Oh... right, yeah, sorry." she mumbled, I had a feeling she still didn’t get what I said. She rubbed her face roughly and shook her head before looking back at me, her expression forced cheer.
"Ok, go ahead. I’m all ears." she said a little too brightly.
"What’s up, Beth."
She turned away. "Nothing. What do you mean?" her voice still held that irritatingly fake happy tone, and it was pissing me off. Usually I’ll leave it alone, they don’t want to tell so it’s their problem, but for some reason I couldn’t let it go anymore with her. So with my own worries temporarily forgotten, I pried further.
"Tell me." I demanded, in my head it had been firm, but it was a soft-almost comforting-voice that drifted to my ears now.
She froze. Hands adrift in mid air, like she’d momentarily forgot her train of thought. She wanted to tell me. I could tell from the tightness in her face how difficult it was for her to hold it back. Just tell me, I thought hoping it’d reach her, you can trust me now.
Couldn’t she, I questioned.
Yes.
Because I would never hurt her. Because I would keep her secrets safe.
Because I trusted her.
"Beth..." I grabbed her outstretched hand. Curling my fingers around hers.
Her eyes snapped to mine, and in them I saw what she hid behind her smiles and cheer. Weariness, sadness, but most of all I saw fear, so much fear. I was at a loss. I wanted say something, anything, but my mind was blank. What I possibly say to the one person who I thought fear was impossible? That’s stupid, she’s human like everyone else, of course she got scared sometimes. But she’s nothing like everyone else. She’s Beth. She’s my friend, the only true one I’ve ever had. And her fear terrified me.
The sound of her phone going off made us jump apart. I stepped away, maybe further than necessarily. I just felt closed in by the moment, a weird tingling radiating through my body. Goose bumps covered my arms even though I wasn’t in the least bit cold, and I quickly tried to rub them away. Beth took out her phone to check the number. I watched as the color drained from her face, I stepped closer. She backed away from me. Panic to keep the identity of the caller a secret from me. I knew any hope of her confessing was lost.
"I’m sorry." she mouthed, rushing past me to take the call in private. Overhead the bell sounded for first period, but I waited till she was out of sight before I headed off to class. I had every intention of getting the truth out of her at lunch. I even had a plan. I would ease it out, never pushing too hard, let her know it was safe to tell me, that I could held her; even if I wasn’t so sure of that. Whatever the problem was, it was serious. Beth didn’t stress over the little crap. But she didn’t show for lunch. She didn’t show up the rest of school.
"What?"
"I was trying to tell you about Ben."
She blinked up at me for a few seconds, like she were trying comprehend my words.
"Oh... right, yeah, sorry." she mumbled, I had a feeling she still didn’t get what I said. She rubbed her face roughly and shook her head before looking back at me, her expression forced cheer.
"Ok, go ahead. I’m all ears." she said a little too brightly.
"What’s up, Beth."
She turned away. "Nothing. What do you mean?" her voice still held that irritatingly fake happy tone, and it was pissing me off. Usually I’ll leave it alone, they don’t want to tell so it’s their problem, but for some reason I couldn’t let it go anymore with her. So with my own worries temporarily forgotten, I pried further.
"Tell me." I demanded, in my head it had been firm, but it was a soft-almost comforting-voice that drifted to my ears now.
She froze. Hands adrift in mid air, like she’d momentarily forgot her train of thought. She wanted to tell me. I could tell from the tightness in her face how difficult it was for her to hold it back. Just tell me, I thought hoping it’d reach her, you can trust me now.
Couldn’t she, I questioned.
Yes.
Because I would never hurt her. Because I would keep her secrets safe.
Because I trusted her.
"Beth..." I grabbed her outstretched hand. Curling my fingers around hers.
Her eyes snapped to mine, and in them I saw what she hid behind her smiles and cheer. Weariness, sadness, but most of all I saw fear, so much fear. I was at a loss. I wanted say something, anything, but my mind was blank. What I possibly say to the one person who I thought fear was impossible? That’s stupid, she’s human like everyone else, of course she got scared sometimes. But she’s nothing like everyone else. She’s Beth. She’s my friend, the only true one I’ve ever had. And her fear terrified me.
The sound of her phone going off made us jump apart. I stepped away, maybe further than necessarily. I just felt closed in by the moment, a weird tingling radiating through my body. Goose bumps covered my arms even though I wasn’t in the least bit cold, and I quickly tried to rub them away. Beth took out her phone to check the number. I watched as the color drained from her face, I stepped closer. She backed away from me. Panic to keep the identity of the caller a secret from me. I knew any hope of her confessing was lost.
"I’m sorry." she mouthed, rushing past me to take the call in private. Overhead the bell sounded for first period, but I waited till she was out of sight before I headed off to class. I had every intention of getting the truth out of her at lunch. I even had a plan. I would ease it out, never pushing too hard, let her know it was safe to tell me, that I could held her; even if I wasn’t so sure of that. Whatever the problem was, it was serious. Beth didn’t stress over the little crap. But she didn’t show for lunch. She didn’t show up the rest of school.
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